6 Basic Aspects of Forgiveness

Forgiveness deals with our emotional response toward an offender. Pardon deals with the consequences of the offense. Unless we have the authority we may not be able to pardon an offense, but we can always forgive. Forgiving a person is "clearing the record" with us and transferring the responsibility for any punishment to God. Forgiveness will make it possible for us to have the same openness towards the offender, after they offend us, as we had before they offended us. The following insights of scripture, assist us in looking at forgiveness from God's point of view:

1. Forgiveness involves a positive attitude toward the offense rather than a negative attitude toward the offender.

If our initial focus after being offended is on the offender, it is difficult not to become bitter. But if we first focus on the offense and forget for the moment who offended us, we are much better able to look at the offense as a significant aspect of our personal character development. Our proper attitudes as a result of the offense become the important concern. By using this approach, both the offender and the offense fade into insignificance and our response to the offense becomes the major concern.

2. Forgiveness views the offender as an "instrument" in God's hands.

In the final analysis, it is God who uses even the "wrath of man to praise Him" Psalm 76:10 King David could have become very bitter toward the vile, hateful person who tried to humiliate him by publicly accusing him and cursing him. Instead, he viewed him simply as an agent of a higher power. He said, "The Lord hath bidden him (to curse me)." II Samuel 16:11

Jesus Christ could have become bitter toward those who beat Him and nailed Him to the cross, but He looked at them as carrying out the purpose of God for His life. Because of this, He was able to say, "Father, forgive them; for they know what they do." Luke 23:34

3. Forgiveness looks at the wounds of the offense as God's way of drawing attention to the offender's needs.

When the girl possessed of the devil continually disrupted Paul's meetings, he could have become bitter at her disturbances. Her offenses toward his ministry, however, caused him to become keenly aware of her spiritual needs as a result he healed her. Acts 16:16-18

4. Forgiveness recognizes that bitterness is assuming a right we don't have.

Only God has the right to punish. "Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord." Romans 12:19 A response of bitterness is an instinctive means of revenge toward the one who has offended us. Most of us are prone to use silence toward the offender as a means of punishing that person. (See also Romans 12:17-20)

5. Forgiveness realizes that the offender has already begun receiving the consequences of the offenses.

A person's happiness is dependent upon his harmony with God and others. An offense toward us simply indicates that the offender is violating one or more principles and these violations will have a deep effect upon their own happiness and success. If anyone has wronged us, we can be sure that they are insensitive toward others around them and will suffer from conflicts with others as well.

The reproofs of conscience, friends, circumstances, etc. are sufficient tools of God to emphasize to offenders. When they recognize the seriousness of the offense, they will not give us the privilege of helping them, if we have not reflected a loving spirit toward them through our attitudes.

6. Forgiveness involves cooperating with God in the offender's life.

When someone intentionally offends us, we can be sure that they are going to be fully aware of our responses to them. In this case, we have a significant opportunity to demonstrate the potential forgiveness of God to them. As they see our openness and love toward them, they will be able to comprehend the same openness and love that God has towards them, in spite of their offenses toward God.

When someone unintentionally offends us, it indicates that the offender has personal deficiencies, which they may not be aware of. In this case, our continued openness toward them may provide the opportunity to be of personal help to them in the areas revealed by the offense.

The reward of meeting the needs will be a spirit of joy in us as we see them sharing with others the same attitudes they saw in us when we properly responded to the offenses.

Forgiveness is having a greater concern for a person after they offend you than you did before they offended you. It is using the hurts of others as the basis of demonstrating Christ's love back to them.